Happy Valentine’s Day!

As Valentine’s Day approaches, I see many ads for that “perfect gift”. I am amused by this, since I think many times the
point of the day gets missed by the “monetary value” of the gift.

Before my husband and I became parents, we had a lot more time for things like date night and sending flowers, talking about our lives, etc.

As parents, the first time I noticed that my husband called me “Momma”, I freaked out. We had become those couples who refer to each other as “dad” or “ma”! I immediately corrected my husband and he laughed as he had not even realized the mistake.

But this made me think – it was a little thing – and yet, I had noticed many divorces occuring after 25-30 years of marriage. The empty nesters who realized that once the kids left, they didn’t even know their spouse.

It is so easy to be too busy to have an adult conversation that doesn’t involve children, work, or household issues. Before my son was born, I would call my husband and have mini conversations all day about what was happening in our
lives, our plans for the weekend, etc. Last week, on our “date night”, I found myself in the travel section at Borders, while my husband was listening to cds in the music section. Yes, we were taking some time for “us” on our date night – but separately!

It is difficult to find the time to give to yourself as well as to your spouse, your family, your household, your career, etc. Soccer practices, choir rehearsals, meetings, all these things take from our time as parents to interact with our spouse as a spouse and not just as ma or pa.

This Valentine’s Day, take time to call your spouse by name, make some new memories as a couple, dig out the photo album from the days when life seemed simpler.

I think one of the best Valentine’s Day gifts is to tell someone you love THEM – the person you fell in love with, before you changed diapers or carpooled.

My mom has a framed saying which states, “The best gift a father can give his children is to love their mother”.

This is powerful and so true. I also want to add to that, I think the best gift a parent can give to their child is to take time for themselves and fulfill their needs as an individual as well.

Take that time to remember yourself as a person. Some days I run out of the house so fast that I have to look down
to make sure that my outfit matches. My son is always bathed, fed, changed, and well taken care of. I cannot always say that is true for myself!

This Valentine’s Day, look into the mirror and see who looks back. There is more to this person than “Ma” or “Pa”. A gift for the whole family would be to dust that concept off, and realize that losing your identity in the midst of parenting hurts EVERYONE involved.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

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