Jet With Kids

 Affected By Kids On Planes…

I am an advocate for children on planes; I do not think everyone on the plane should be affected by their presence.

On this last flight over the Rockies, I was contemplating why kids on planes have such a negative reputation. As soon as I started that thought, my head was jolted forward as my seat back was used as a form of entertainment for the toddler behind me. A lap child that couldn’t have been much younger than 2, was having a great time kicking my seat and every now and then lunging his body against it. Wow- this is another great reason to sit in the last row.

SO I observed the parents behind me just by listening. Yes, they did have the portable DVD player and as I soon found out, they had a Dora the Explorer DVD. How did I know? Because the entire plane could hear Dora since the parents cranked the volume to be heard over their son’s loud shouts. And how could I tell that he wasn’t watching? Because he was soon hanging over the top of my seat every now and then grabbing a chunk of my hair as he pulled himself into the standing position.

So yes, the parents came prepared with the DVD player. But where were the headphones? And where were the boundaries for this child? Certainly not where the seat back ended and my hair began.

Do I blame the child? No, he was around 2 years old and not given any boundaries or discipline. Do I blame the parent? Well I certainly understand why kids on planes are a dreaded sight for many business travelers. I was working on my laptop as my son was sitting next to me sleeping. But let me tell you, when my head was lurched forward every few unexpected minutes, it was difficult to concentrate.

I recently found this YouTube video that demonstrates this point perfectly. This very cute baby is held unsafely in the lap of his parents and allowed to grab the seat in front of him as his mom loudly talks baby talk to him. His very cute baby noises did not appear to be so cute to the passengers around him. Even though he is young, there are many other ways to entertain him while he is in a car seat. And that baby talk would not be so annoying to others if he was not above the seats (where his voice travels throughout the cabin). Others also would not be affected by his presence if he wouldn’t be allowed to grab the seat in front of him.

I do like children and yes, this video is cute. But not on an airplane. There is a time and a place for everything.

Notice that kids do not need to be screaming and kicking and throwing tantrums to be annoying and disturbing to others. Basic respect - think of these circumstances where people are acting normally, but can easily affect others when in a small space (where people can’t escape):

1) talking incessantly on cell phone

2) talking baby talk to a child

3) snoring

4) coughing

I always compare this to someone holding a puppy up and listening to him making puppy noises - not everyone likes dogs. And there is a time and place for this. In an enclosed cabin? Not really.

I feel very strongly that just because I bring a child onto a plane, not everyone on that plane needs to be affected by his presence. I need to be prepared for all events: when he is hungry, tired, bored, sick, or overstimulated. Being two steps ahead of him is my job as his parent.

I will compare this to yet another sensitive topic. In California where I live, many couples have chosen to treat their dog as their “child”. I respect this. But I also expect them to keep their dog’s nose out of my son’s stroller and to respect the fact that my fear of dogs attacking is legitimate. (I was attacked last year by one of these “child dogs” as he was frightened by the stroller as I walked by. The owner had him on a leash and did not restrain him as he lunged at my leg and took a nice chunk out of it. This same owner stated that the dog had never done that before and maybe it was my stroller that scared him.)

SO, back to kids on planes. I compare this sincerely because I understand that to a dog owner, that dog is like a child. Precious and individual and not replaceable. But when I board a plane, I do not assume that passengers will think my child is cute, or even want to interact with him. I respect the fact that some people do not like kids or may be too distracted by work or life to interact with a child. And that is ok- I just ask that they don’t force their dog on me.

Another example about dogs? When I arrive at someone’s house and their dog jumps on me and is licking me and they laugh half heartedly calling their dog and yet do not take control of their dog. I, on the other hand, will not allow my child free reign when it interferes with other’s boundaries.

Basic RESPECT for others is the name of the game here. Respect that some may be on that flight to attend a funeral for a sibling or parent, others may be facing a HUGE meeting where their job is on the line and they need that time to prepare for their presentation, still others may be on their honeymoon and another on their way to Disneyland. Same flight, same enclosed cabin.

I realize that kids are going to make noise, but I fly every month with my son and many times people will comment that they did not know he was on board. Why? Not because I am a fabulous parent or he a quiet kid. Instead it is because I use the same process for keeping him occupied as I do in church on Sunday. I am busy taking care of him on those flights, and the times that I am blessed with him taking an in-flight nap I am thankful and relax my guard.

Until I am kicked in the back and forced to listen to Dora. I also was frustrated because the child on my flight was not only annoying me, but was back and forth between his parent’s laps and was rotating pulling on my seat and then my son’s seat. That was when I turned around and asked the parents to please not allow him to kick and pull on the seat as he was going to wake up my son.

I felt bad for this child, because I could tell from the passengers around me and their sighs and dirty looks that this child was not liked. All too often the child is blamed. But they are only a reflection of the parenting they receive.

One time I had a mother argue with me about the lap child policy, with her stating that there was no way that she could keep her 18 month old in a car seat and in fact, (as she laughed) this same child ran up and down the aisles and climbed up on other passengers.

This is inexcusable to me.

I am a huge advocate of taking children on planes. But I am also an advocate for the business traveler. Basic Respect goes a long way…